I've turned into a Tibetan monk....

Of course, we didn't have the best equipment to shave my head and Peter was a little nervous, but he stepped up to the plate and did a sterling job, first with the scissors and then with the buzzer and finally with an old electric razor we found in the drawer. It took a ages. My hair, what was left of it after the girls had been at it, was really thick. And it was a very strange color!

Of all the women I know, I think there may be only a handful who have not fiddled with the color of their hair. Look at the rows and rows of boxes of hair dye in the drugstores. Count the hair salons on every corner. Like most Anglo-Saxons I started life as a tow head, a color that usually morphs into dirty blond and gets highlighted by the sun in summer. As I got older, it got darker so I joined the highlighting set and became a slave to my colorist. Once you start down the coloring your hair path, you are locked in. No turning natural. Way too scary! But now I had no choice.

It was funny. It'd just been about to book a haircut and color when I found out about my cancer, so knowing I'd lose my hair saved me a bundle! But the really bizarre thing was discovering that my roots, tucked away in my curly hair, were now black! I couldn't believe it. How can hair change from fluffy white to bristly black? Is it genetically programed? If anyone has an answer to that one, I'd love to hear it. And of course, I've got a few months to wonder what color it will be when it grows back! I'm told it comes in curly, so that should be interesting.

I'd had my back to the mirror so it was a bit of shock when I finally saw myself. My first thought was "Yes, I really am a cancer patient". It didn't look like me at all - until I smiled. I took a while to study myself. It's amazing how hair, or lack of it, defines us and our personality. Without my hair, I feel exactly the same as I did before. But how will others react to this new look? Will people recognize me? I look just like a Tibetan monk.

Francesca came home from work and I warned her not to be scared at the way I looked. She hugged me. "You look beautiful, mamma".